AWANAMA

to the anonymous One.


in times past,

i started learning to record,

that people called you ”Father”,

with calm mien, praised beautiful words,

even when the heartbeat suddenly hurdle,

felt your presence in the sense of frantic, fear, crumpled and death.


i simply obeyed.

i didn’t really know why i should believe.

the inner call had made me endure longer,

perhaps up to this face, would just the wind blowing the rocks,

and till the body encounters dust,

loss of sound, silent in the dots of history.


whereas you’re so far away…(i’m not sure).

you’re vanished while long sleep blacken our instincts…(i’m not sure).

lost in anger the time that i found my dreams were swept away by the sun.

oh, are you really a mystery…?

or am i just a piece of meat who can only whisper,

moan over to you in prayers?


(i was not really sure what i have repeatedly done)


Father, forgive me.

out of the depths, i cry out to you.

have mercy on me as i failed to love you.

everything came not as i expected, stopped me on this apriori.

have sinned i, yet you never give up on me.

oh, thank you,

thank you for all the blessing that i cannot see.


sun-blessing

[2017]

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